Leaving Home
My Travels
Part I.
Last night was a very difficult time for me. I visited my neighbors the Aues for the last time before my 9+ month trip. It was a very emotional experience. Late in my high school experience I moved in with their family, thus they are like second family to me. I’m sad to say I don’t visit them enough, as much as I should, anymore. I guess I’m guilty of spreading myself out quite thin at times and I am not able to keep up with people as much as I wish I could .
Mr. Aue was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer over two and a half years ago. He was given less than 9 months to live and we are fortunate to still have him around. I lit a candle for him in the cathedral at the Piazza San Marco in Venezia (Venice) just after completion of my 2002 study abroad summer in France. It seems natural that these things hit me the hardest when traveling, when you miss home and don’t have any way to pop in and see the people you miss the most. I guess all I have left to say Bill is that you are always in my thoughts/prayers and I will most assuredly do something special for you whilst abroad again. I really hope to see you soon, stay strong.
When you are a young kid (is anyone a psych major out there?) you go through a part of your life when you learn the concept of object permanence. A rough definition of this is when you see an object and close your eyes you will know that the item will still be there whether or not you have ocular proof. My new theory is learning the importance of object impermanence. I wish things were this simple, but understand I am from a small town. Things change, but very slowly and the entire community talks about it well in advance so there isn’t much of a shock. In the larger, faster world, this isn’t how things work. You leave for awhile and the shock when you get back can be immense. In other words if I close my eyes on the US for 9 months it may be so different when I return that I could feel foreign. Some will tell me that it isn’t the US that changes but rather me. Others will tell me that it is psychological…that I have been gone for so long that when I get back I expect it to be so different in order to feel like I am an outsider. I know AIESEC considers this an instance of reverse culture shock. I just call it difficult to cope with…especially trying to anticipate and worry about it in advance. I guess this is what I get for leaving myself with upwards of 4 hours of layovers in each of my pit stops on the way to Dubai.
It is really crazy to think of how close to perfect my life was in the US prior to departure and to know so many things will be different upon return. I had this great community in Ann Arbor full of great friends and it was so condensed it made life so fun and easy. When I get back I will witness first hand the next great Diaspora of Michigan Alumni, leaving very few close friends of mine in Ann Arbor. This isn’t even all of it either. No one is getting any younger. You never know what will happen given enough time. I’ll stop being so depressing to everyone the second my plane lands down, promise J.
With that in mind I just want to give shout outs to all those who know I cherish every minute spent with them. No names, you know who you are (everyone I know!). I want to send a special shout out to Mr. William Aue, you are my father too. Stay strong. You are a great and inspirational person whom I have always admired. I don’t just use anyone as a reference, you are special to me. Thanks for everything you have done for me and all the time we have spent from the seemingly least significant hour in front of your TV to the most recent talks about your health. Take care of him World.
Love,
Eric
Part I.
Last night was a very difficult time for me. I visited my neighbors the Aues for the last time before my 9+ month trip. It was a very emotional experience. Late in my high school experience I moved in with their family, thus they are like second family to me. I’m sad to say I don’t visit them enough, as much as I should, anymore. I guess I’m guilty of spreading myself out quite thin at times and I am not able to keep up with people as much as I wish I could .
Mr. Aue was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer over two and a half years ago. He was given less than 9 months to live and we are fortunate to still have him around. I lit a candle for him in the cathedral at the Piazza San Marco in Venezia (Venice) just after completion of my 2002 study abroad summer in France. It seems natural that these things hit me the hardest when traveling, when you miss home and don’t have any way to pop in and see the people you miss the most. I guess all I have left to say Bill is that you are always in my thoughts/prayers and I will most assuredly do something special for you whilst abroad again. I really hope to see you soon, stay strong.
When you are a young kid (is anyone a psych major out there?) you go through a part of your life when you learn the concept of object permanence. A rough definition of this is when you see an object and close your eyes you will know that the item will still be there whether or not you have ocular proof. My new theory is learning the importance of object impermanence. I wish things were this simple, but understand I am from a small town. Things change, but very slowly and the entire community talks about it well in advance so there isn’t much of a shock. In the larger, faster world, this isn’t how things work. You leave for awhile and the shock when you get back can be immense. In other words if I close my eyes on the US for 9 months it may be so different when I return that I could feel foreign. Some will tell me that it isn’t the US that changes but rather me. Others will tell me that it is psychological…that I have been gone for so long that when I get back I expect it to be so different in order to feel like I am an outsider. I know AIESEC considers this an instance of reverse culture shock. I just call it difficult to cope with…especially trying to anticipate and worry about it in advance. I guess this is what I get for leaving myself with upwards of 4 hours of layovers in each of my pit stops on the way to Dubai.
It is really crazy to think of how close to perfect my life was in the US prior to departure and to know so many things will be different upon return. I had this great community in Ann Arbor full of great friends and it was so condensed it made life so fun and easy. When I get back I will witness first hand the next great Diaspora of Michigan Alumni, leaving very few close friends of mine in Ann Arbor. This isn’t even all of it either. No one is getting any younger. You never know what will happen given enough time. I’ll stop being so depressing to everyone the second my plane lands down, promise J.
With that in mind I just want to give shout outs to all those who know I cherish every minute spent with them. No names, you know who you are (everyone I know!). I want to send a special shout out to Mr. William Aue, you are my father too. Stay strong. You are a great and inspirational person whom I have always admired. I don’t just use anyone as a reference, you are special to me. Thanks for everything you have done for me and all the time we have spent from the seemingly least significant hour in front of your TV to the most recent talks about your health. Take care of him World.
Love,
Eric
3 Comments:
At 17/12/04 03:57, Colleen. said…
dude. i can't believe you're going so far away--but i'm hella excited for you. that email you sent to us was tops. :) and thanks for the card!
pssh who am i kidding--leaving everything in a note! expect an email from me :) And also shake Bader some and tell him to REPLY TO HIS EMAILS when you see him.
<3,
At 18/12/04 14:51, Eric W Hensel said…
yah, you'd better send an email. It was nice to see a real sounding Colleen comment though :)
At 29/11/05 02:53, mortgage company said…
A
Post a Comment
<< Home